Life in a Loony Bin
by Dex2468
Summary: Everyone has problems even the ducks. What happens when the ducks meet in a psychiatric ward rather than at hockey.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Well this is my first mighty ducks fic posted. I don't own the ducks! I also know that some of the problems the ducks have would not make you need to be admitted to a psychiatric ward but this is fiction. I'm sorry if I offend anyone this is only fiction and these characters are the extremes.  
I know this is warped but please stick with it! 

The ducks meet in a psychiatric ward rather than at hockey.

**Life in a Loony Bin**

**_Adam's POV_**

I sighed heavily I did not want to be here; I tapped my feet on the floor and rapped my fingers on the armrest. My head hung heavy as I tried not to make eye contact with anyone especially my father I could feel the rays of disappointment beaming down on me. He was probably more ashamed than I was; he was probably worried about what his colleagues would say now that his 'perfect' son was in a psych ward.

I looked around this place wasn't so bad, they'd tried to make it look less like a hospital and more like a hotel, it hadn't really worked. The walls were still white but they had a green border around the middle, all around were pictures of ducks I didn't understand why there were so many ducks. Finally there was big sign on the wall saying 'Welcome to Eden Hall' underneath was written psych ward – no pets allowed – tickets at entrance – Have a nice stay. I smirked at least they had a sense of humour.

"We've not even been open a week and already the patients are defacing property," I saw a doctor walk into the waiting room he was smiling so I guessed that he actually wasn't mad. He walked over smiling at us.

"Hello I am Dr Bombay I will be you psychiatrist it's really nice to meet you," he paused, "Right I'm aware of your situation so I've organised an easy way for you to communicate around the hospital I'll give it to you at group therapy this afternoon, ok now this is sister Heather she will be showing you around, Mr Banks please could you come with me and after I've spoken to you we can put Adam's belongings in his room." He smiled walking off with my father following him.

"Hello I'm sister Heather and I'll be your tour guide this afternoon," she had a really unnerving smile she seemed way too happy.

We followed through to the main corridor it divided into two; she dragged me down the corridor on the left. She showed me into the rec room where there were two rather large guys sat watching TV, I swear all they were was muscle.

"Hey," they waved without looking up.

She dragged me out to show me the art room, music room, group therapy, individual therapy, the offices, work room, studio and kitchen. I followed her into the garden it was beautiful. There was the lawn and a tree in the back corner a couple of picnic benches and some normal benches and at the back was a tall fence beautifully engraved.

She then went on to show me the bedrooms, there were 5 male rooms and a bathroom and threw a door at the back there was the girls room and a bathroom. As I entered my bedroom I saw 2 boys one had long curly blonde hair he was very thin and his clothes were extremely baggy. The other was a cowboy they both looked really friendly.

"Hi I'm Guy," the blonde one introduced smiling, "And this is Dwayne, I guess we'll be you roommates for the next god knows how long," I nodded I looked around there was a bunk bed and a single bed the bottom bunk one didn't look in use. I pointed to it to ask if it was mine. Guy nodded,

"Yeah it's yours and the draws next to it are too," He answered I nodded my thanks I hoped someone had told him that I was mute so that he didn't think that I was being rude.

"Dr Bombay told me to tell you that he's spoken to me about you and that your father had to leave in a hurry something to do with work and not worry he'll be back next weekend as this weekend's off so that we can all get to know each other… or something." Guy told me, it was almost like he could read my mind.

I hadn't noticed that Sister Heather had left till I turned around after I had finished un packing.

"Yeah about 10 minutes ago," Guy informed me. I nodded.

"Come on lets go to group therapy then or we'll be late," Dwayne explained as he got up we followed him out.

**_Bombay's POV_**

I ran round my office trying to find where I had left my stuff I didn't have a clue. Crap. I was so disorganised. The last member of the group had arrived today and this was the first group session, we had such a wide variety of different disorders here I was amazed that we had two narcissists that were bad enough to be an in-patient. I glanced down at my list.

**Lester Averman** – paranoid schizophrenia

**Adam Banks** – Depression, Self Injury, selective mutism

**Charlie Conway** – narcissism, satyriasis

**Julie Gaffney** – OCD

**Guy Germane** – Anorexia, Bulimia, self-harm

**Greg Goldberg** – Over eating (rich parents)

**Luis Mendoza** – narcissism

**Connie Moreau** – Nymphomania

**Dean Portman** – Split personality

**Fulton Reed** – Depression, anxiety

**Dwayne Robertson** – Pyromania, catatonic schizophrenia

**Russ Tylor** – Violent tendencies drug related problems

**Ken Wu** – tourettes.

It was an interesting bunch and a lot of them had a great sense of humour, which you really needed to get through this sort of thing, I really hope that they would learn to rely on each other and become good friends. As I entered the group therapy room with a pile of belongings in hand I was glad to see that some of them were already friends, Guy, Dwayne and Adam seemed quite close as did Fulton and Portman. Portman could be a barrel of laughs both of his personalities were quite funny in different ways. It was Portman who had written the sign in the entrance in hope of making people smile it worked and no one wanted it removed so it was staying.

"Hello I am Dr Bombay and I will the doctor in charge of group therapy and a few of you individual I know most of you have met so bare with me. In a few weeks you will start school as it is almost the end of summer, Your tutor will be Miss McKay – be nice" I emphasised the nice as I knew some of them would not be. "Ok rules for group sessions you can make them up. And we'll write them down they'll be up in here permanently"

By the end of group we had a couple of rules about what leaves the room and be nice to others, the longest argument had been about swearing and whether they were allowed to swear in the end the decision was that you couldn't swear at someone but you could swear about something I couldn't wait to see how this was going to work.

**Dex**

Ok that's it tell me what you think. Constructive criticism welcome. Chapter 2 coming soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Ok I mainly going to apologise for Charlie in this chapter he's not very nice but he's going to get better. Also warning there is a bit of slash so if you don't like it then please don't complain but there won't be too much as this is not a romance fic.

Thanks to xxMD1xx for defining the disorders and everyone for reviewing!

I don't own Mighty Ducks and I'd like to say again that my characters are the extremes and may not be real representations of people.

_**Life in a Loony Bin**_

**Dwayne's POV**

This place was a lot nicer than my last ward and the people here were a lot more friendly, unlike my last ward there was such thing as privacy. Within week you had known everything about everyone, it was as bad as a school for gossip, people loved to talk. After the group we all had headed off in out own directions Adam, Guy and I headed out to the garden. It was really nice, we sat on the benches it actually gave us some time to get to know each other.

It was tea in an hour and most of the patients were in the rec room, we had moved in from the garden. It was not that nice there was a TV with a plastic screen in front which meant we were never allowed to loose the remote, and we had already lost it about 8 times and we had only been here a week. There were some board games that were missing most of their pieces and a game of Velcro darts that no one ever wanted to use although I'm sure I saw Portman attempt to eat it.

The staff hated taking us or meals because it was separate to the rest of the building so they had to escort us across the grounds making sure we didn't run in front of a car or run away. Then they had to argue with us about what different people wanted to eat, trying to get Averman awake enough to eat (he spent half his time too drugged up to do anything, either that or he was screaming). The trying to get Guy to eat and Portman to make up his mind, Julie was also a problem as she was convinced that everything had germs on everything and had to wear gloves and inspect everything.

Finally the hour came and Dr Bombay and Sister Heather escorted us across the grounds to cafeteria. As we were walking across a car door slammed which caused Averman to start screaming, you know I'm not sure if its his schizophrenia or if he just has a nervous disposition, anyway then it set Ken's tourettes off and he started swearing and kicking at Russ. I'm quite glad that we didn't have to walk down a street it's would be so embarrassing if the kicked off in the middle of the street.

We finally arrived at the dining hall I sat down between Guy and Dean. Sister Heather took our order telling them to the people at the counter they didn't trust us to go up with the rest of the patients around. I think they thought we'd cause problems, plus apparently we made some of the other patients un comfortable. Our ward was separated from the rest as we often stayed longer than them and it was more like a home. We were at the back of the grounds and the ward looked more like a house that part of the hospital. We had a field behind us and you had to walk along the drive and through a guinnel to get there but it meant we could often do games.

Eventually the food arrived and Portman hovered his down I had never seen a guy eat so quickly. I looked at Guy he was playing with his food I knew that he wasn't going to eat it he never did. Adam was attempting to eat his but Charlie was writing on the white board that he gave Adam to carry around with him so that he could communicate. He wore it round hid neck as a necklace. I looked at Adam's sign – 'Ready for a quickie' it read, I snorted.

"Are you sure?" Julie asked moving her food around looking for and fungus she slowly put the food into her mouth chewing slowly and carefully as if testing. She nodded and continued to eat the rest. Bombay smiled happy he then leaned over to Guy.

"You now you have to eat something you can't go with out eating anything or you'll have to go back into isolation." Bombay explained. This happened every meal Guy would refuse to eat staring down at his plate then Bombay would threaten to put him in isolation and Guy would eat just enough to please them. Afterwards he was not allowed to be alone until the doctors were sure he wouldn't throw up.

We finally finished and then got dragged all the way back to the ward, between 6 and 10 we were allowed to do what we wanted and between 10 and 11 we had to get ready for bed – the boys bathroom had been divided into two it was more cramped but they had to do it to fit us all in. We only got 10 minutes in the bathroom each so you had to learn to be quick.

As it was Friday night we were allowed to watch a movie but we had to agree this often took longer than the movie itself.

"Right!" Sister Heat yelled, "What do you want to watch? The choice is Terminator, Cheaper by the Dozen or Carebears." The votes were handed in and counted and Dr Bombay gave the announcement.

"And the winner is ……. Carebears," he announced Portman and Fulton high fived. I somehow think that these votes are rigged.

**Guy's POV**

'Carebears? Why the hell do we want to watch Carebears? They were worried that the depressives would become depressed with the others they should see how we are watching stupid bears dance around. I turn to Adam to see what he thinks and I'm ashamed to see that he seems glad of the choice, he's not exactly smiling but he's giving off good vibes.

"Hey Dwayne want a game of Monopoly?" I asked it was the only game that had enough pieces to play, as all of the games were donations form other wards. He nodded and we took it to another room.

"So how do you play?" he asked I looked at him disbelievingly. I couldn't believe that this boy had never played monopoly. I went onto explain the rules to him stopping every three seconds to answer his questions.

**Charlie's POV**

I don't know why I'm in this stupid place what's wrong with being a little self-confident. The Carebears start I don't particularly like Carebears but I knew it would get rid of a few people so I could talk to Adam. After Guy and Dwayne leave to play monopoly I go and sit next to Adam, I smile at him and he smiles nervously back I cant tell he's unnerved by me, most people are, I would probably make more friends if I stopped making moves on them. I like Adam he's almost as attractive as me. Almost. I put my hand on his knee he moves along away from me. I don't get it how can people turn me down I'm good looking and I have a nice personality. So ok sometimes I'm a little big headed but it's nothing compared to Luis. I touch his back and he glares at me I know he's just playing hard to get. I know his kind. I've slept with his kind. I move my mouth next to his ear.

"You know you want me," I whispered, he stands up to leave the room.

"Where are you going Adam?" Bombay asked, Adam held out his board and wrote to get ready for bed, Bombay looked a bit apprehensive but nodded him on anyway. Adam Exited the room and everyone went back to watching the film.

I left it a good 10 minutes before asking to go to the toilet; I don't think Bombay believed me all this meant was that I would have to be quick. I walked up to Adam's room knocking on the door as I entered; Adam was sat on the bottom bunk bed. Their room was slightly bigger than ours but they had three people and there was only Luis and I in ours. He glared at me I know he didn't trust me, I think the main reason was that he knew that he couldn't scream for help if he ever needed it. But I wasn't going to hurt him I never wanted to hurt anyone.

I walked over to the bed he had his headphones around his neck and looked at me all of a sudden I had the feeling that he could completely kick my arse if he wanted to.

"I know we got off to a bad start but I really do like you," I said trying to persuade him I knew he probably wouldn't give any but I had to have one last go. I leaned over and pressed my lips onto his. He pushed my away with a great force. I nodded I knew I didn't want to but I knew when I was defeated.

"WHAT THE HELL…"

Dex

Thanks any constructive criticism welcome!


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Wow sorry this has taken so long it's difficult to find time to write now! Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long!

Thanks to Star who was the beta for this she was amazing and probably the reason it makes any sense. So thanks especially for puttin up with my appalling englilsh.

So here goes...

_Life in A Loony Bin _

**Guy's POV**

I quickly gave up on trying to teach Dwayne Monopoly it was a difficult task. Just as we started to get going he went into a catatonic state so when I left he was frozen in position, ready to throw the dice but unable to follow through.

I entered our room and the first thing that hit my eyes was Charlie kissing Adam. I was shocked I didn't know what to think, he pulled away.

"WHAT THE HELL…" I exploded; he jumped even farther back I glared.

"Adam you ok?" I asked looking at him he nodded, I turned to Charlie, "What the hell did you think you were doing?" I yelled. I returned to Adam, "I don't care if he was sorry afterwards he shouldn't have done it."

"I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry," Charlie apologised running past me to get out of the door. I shook my head.

"I know I am sorry to butt in but I didn't know what he was going to do… ok next time I won't …URGH!" I screamed. Why did I even bother? he's such a pig headed nonce.

I grabbed my night stuff storming off to the bathroom as he put his headphones back on. I quickly got changed I didn't bother with a shower as I normally have one in the morning. I sulked back to our room to get Adam. As I walked into the bedroom I immediately felt that something was wrong. There were bad vibes around the entire of the room I walked over to his bed. He was lying under the covers I reached out to put my arm on his shoulder, I pulled down the covers. I came face to face with a tear-struck Adam. He sat up rubbing his eyes I took his hands in mine, he flinched. I sighed; by the end of this he was going to be annoyed that he couldn't keep secrets from me. I gently pulled up his sleeves and looked at his arm there was a deep cut, it was just above the bandages wrapped around his wrist. I sighed. I pulled out the first aid kit from my drawer and walked over to his bed again. I quickly cleaned it up, placing a band-aid over it. He looked at me; I nodded lifting up my sleeves showing him cuts and scars that traced my arms.

"Anyway what I came to tell you was that we have to take medication … well we don't have to take them." I smiled we had already learnt that putting them underneath your tongue stopped you from taking them.

I pulled him out of the room; the first thing to do here was to make sure no one thought that anything was wrong. We waited in the main room, Adam had realised he'd left his board in the room and was kind of annoyed that he couldn't communicate with anyone. I watched him and Charlie, they seemed to be ok and I think that Charlie was genuinely sorry.

"Averman!" the Nurse yelled, she never learned. Averman and I had been here the longest we arrived on the first day it opened, last Friday. Everyday she yelled his name and he screamed and wouldn't move. It was getting old. Eventually Bombay came over and gave them to him, it was weird sometimes he was completely awake but sometimes he was so out of it that we couldn't get him to respond.

"Banks!" she yelled he went up and got them glaring at them he came and sat next to me, Bombay watched us carefully.

"Anti – depressant, laxative and a sedative," I informed him, he nodded, pretending to take them. Bombay seemed happy enough and walked off.  
We eventually got finished and headed off to bed; Dwayne was brought back by a nurse and was put in his bed. I quickly drifted off into a deep sleep that was thankfully dreamless.

**Adam's POV**

I awoke groggily. It had taken me hours to get to sleep, I had eventually fallen asleep about 2am, I reached over to the clock. Urgh! It was 6am. Well four hours sleep was quite good for me. I had nightmares of my past. I really wish that they could give you a pill to forget about them. But you can't. I'm stuck with them, constantly haunted. I got up and made my way to the bathroom. That was the only thing I wished we had, our own bathroom.

"Hello, Adam," I turned around to see Sister Heather smiling at me, I smiled back and nodded, "this is Dr Orion he's another doctor," she explained and he shook my hand.

I walked over to the toilet as I entered I looked into the mirror, I looked a mess and Dr Orion had seen me. My eyes were red and puffy I was extremely pale and I looked like I was going to be sick. I sat down breathing heavily, my hands were shaking badly, I knew I had to breathe evenly to try and regain some normality. I eventually manage to calm myself down. I splashed water on my face and exited the bathroom. I shuffled back to my room and when I got back Guy and Dwayne were talking.

"If you thought the meals were good last night, wait 'til you see breakfast," Guy smiled, I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I just wasn't hungry.

We were supposed to be ready by 9am to go get breakfast, but by the time we were all ready it was 9.30. I had no problem getting ready early at my house, I had to have breakfast made for 7am and had to have done some other chores by then.

The first thing that went wrong was that I realised when trying to communicate with Fulton that I had left my board in the room so I ran back to get it. Just as we were about to leave, Portman started yelling about leaving the kettle on and having to check that Dean was ok. This was the first time I had seen Dean's second personality, Fitz. Although Fulton had told me all about Fitz and what she got up to. Then Ken had another Tourettes attack. After that we were finally ready to leave. We got half -way across the car park when Julie realised that she had left her gloves in her room. Orion ran her back to get them, just as he did a fire alarm went off.

"ARGH!" Averman screamed.

"FUCK!" Ken screamed.

We finally made it to breakfast; I sat between Guy and Fulton. I took one look at other people's breakfast and made a snap decision to have a Weetabix the other stuff looked like puke. Guy made my order for me and I sat back and waited. Fulton turned to me, explaining about how long he'd had anxiety. It was weird I hadn't known these people long but the were already my friends. I silently settled down to eating my breakfast. It took us an hour to eat breakfast; it usually took us forever to do anything.

Two weeks passed very slowly, we didn't get to do much . We had one softball match outside when it was sunny, the rest of the time we spent in the rec room combining board games to attempt to make one game. In the end we finally took to playing Pictionary, Orion had put up a giant board that they were supposed to write on, but we stole the pens and played Pictionary and Orange's (A game involving putting people's names with things you can do to oranges in a place. Normally producing comical results.) Lessons were starting today, but all people wanted to do was get out of here, I swear Fulton had claustrophobia. We all collapsed into our chairs, I sat there staring into the sky, well I would be if I could see through the roof. I slumped forward, throwing my sign onto my back. I had taken to writing quotes of the day out of boredom. Today's was: Don't wear wet pants. I fell forwards onto the table, I had absolutely no sleep last night and I was shattered. I was sure that any minute now I would be asleep. Guy nudged me I looked up at him.

"Wake up," he smiled I stood up and followed him out as he explained the work we had to do.

"Hey," Fulton and Portman greeted both kicking me. I looked at them a little odd.

"Yo, Adam!" Charlie came over and gently kicked my butt, I glared at him.

"Hey, precious," Connie greeted, also kicking my butt. Now something was going on.

"ADAM!" Russ yelled, running up and kicking me. I looked at Guy.

"Adam wants to know what the HELL IS GOING ON!" Guy explained. I looked round.

Guy shrugged. "Why should I know?" he kicked me too.

I screamed silently, running off. I wanted to cry, why was everyone ganging up on me? I ran to our room, grabbing the razor I had managed to sneak in. I snuck into the bathroom, locking the door. I grabbed my board that I had slung over my back. I didn't see my note, instead I saw, Kick me written. I felt so frustrated, I thought that I had friends in this place. Why would they do this? I didn't want to cry and I wasn't going to let myself. Instead I pulled the razor deeply over my arm above the bandages. I unravelled the bandages, looking at the still-deep cuts that had recently had the stitches removed. I knew my Dad was embarrassed about finding me, he probably wished that he could have let me die and got me out of the way discretely.

"Adam," I heard called. It was Dr Orion outside the door. Most people preferred Bombay, but I liked Orion.

"Are you ok?" he asked, I nodded but quickly realised that he couldn't see me. I re-wrapped the bandages as quickly as possible and pulled down my sleeves. I walked out to Orion and nodded, giving a small smile. I knew that if he found out that I had been cutting I would be in trouble so I had to do my best to cover it up.

I walked with him out into the group therapy room, I wasn't aware that we were having group therapy. I looked at Orion confused.

"We're organising what we're going to be doing in the next month," he informed me.

I nodded taking a seat next to Fulton, he smiled I had to smile back. As bad as I had felt, I couldn't stay mad at Fulton, he just seemed to be one of those people who were genuinely nice. I saw Guy glance at me, I couldn't forgive him as easily Guy was a very perceptive person and always seemed to know what I was thinking and feeling, and I just felt that he should have known that I wouldn't appreciate it. I settled down in my sit and prepared to pay attention to what was being said.

**Orion's POV**

The meeting went well, we now knew that there would be a variety of trips to different museums and parks also there would be a bowling trip. I was glad how well the group seemed to be getting along, there were a few rifts developing but that was to be expected. There were quite a few people in the group, it couldn't be expected for them all to get along.

I walked back to my office, looking over the patients chart. I was worried about Adam, he seemed to still be upset, and with his history I knew there was some need for concern about how he would deal with this. I knew that the best way to deal with would be to mention it at the staff meeting. I looked over to my inbox, Dean had gotten one of the bins and put the label 'IN' on it. There was a new letter in it. I pulled it out and opened as a I read, I could almost feel the anger bubbling inside of me. I picked up the phone and rang Gordon.

After three rings he picked up the phone.

"Hi Gordon, have you read the letter?"

**Dex **

Well that's another chapter out of the way, anyway constructive criticism welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note**: Sorry if this seems rushed but I wanted to get it up before Christmas! Thanks to Duck who beta'd my storym any complaintes bout my brill spelling - complain to her!

**Life in a Loony Bin**: Chapter 4

**Orion's POV**

Balancing the heavy box underneath my arm I attempted to close the car door. The decorations jingled as I made may way inside. It had already been 3 months and Christmas was approaching rapidly. Walking quickly down the corridors towards my office, my aim was to get there without bumping into someone, that and not dropping it. I entered my office putting the box down on my desk. I picked up my mail quickly sifting through it looking for anything important . After realising that it was nothing but bills and boring notices about hospital events and psychology conventions I'd been invited to attend, I put it down and playing my answer machine messages. Again nothing interesting, I picked up the box walking down the corridors towards the rec room.

As I entered the rec room, taking a quick glance around to see where everyone was. Adam, Guy and Dwayne we're sat round one table, it looked like they were in deep conversation about something. Julie, Ken and Russ were talking to sister Heather at another table. Everyone else was watching TV.

"Hey guys," I spoke up letting my presence be known, "Right, I'm letting you know the plans for today. We're going shopping, you have to be ready at 10 am sharp. and at the main entrance ready to go that means that you have to have everything." I paused we we're actually going at 10.30 but I knew that if I told the 10 they'd be ready for then.

"Right, later we're putting up decorations, it's already December 20th and we have nothing up! Right come on go get ready!"

With that everyone was up and heading towards their rooms. I wondered if only giving them half an hour would do or if we would even get there today.

At 10 o'clock I saw Adam, Guy and Dwayne shuffling towards us. My didn't they look a cheerful bunch. Adam looked more depressing than usual dressed in all black, his hoodie far too big made him look rather gothic. Guy's clothes hung so far off his wraith like body that he looked ill and Dwayne looked so out of it that it was going to be obvious that we were part of a psych ward.

Slowly everyone made they're way towards the main entrance, and for the first time ever I don't think anyone forgot anything.. But it was still 10.30 before we were in the mini bus and ready to go. In a way I was glad and looking forward to a day out, but in another way I was nervous, taking them out was always worrying that someone would run away, have an episode or running into trouble with other people.

"Right!" I yelled loudly as we got out of the mini bus, "Averman, Ken and Dwayne, you guys are going to be with sister Heather and me as you are on 3 to 2's. Everyone else is one 5 to 1's you guys can split your selves into two groups and one of you can take Jill or Nick and you can go off. We're meeting and the food court at 1 o'clock and then we're leaving"  
Dwayne, Ken and Averman we're on 3 to 2's because they were likely to kick off and that could be dangerous if there was no one there to help so we made sure there was at least two of us with them. In the end Adam, Guy, Charlie, Dean and Portman were in one group with Nick. And Julie, Connie, Russ, Goldberg and Luis were with Jill. As they left I could hear Nick's group arguing about where they were going, in a way I was glad I was with my group, less arguments about which shops they wanted to go to. With that said

"So, where do you guys want to go?"

**Adam's POV**

This was not going to be fun. I was once again stuck in a group with Charlie, I mean I didn't hate him I just wasn't comfortable with him as he kept making moves on me. The first place we we're heading was the clothing store, Charlie said he had to get his secret Santa present from there. That is one thing we had agreed to do, it meant that we didn't have to spend as much money. All of us had money given to us from our parents/ guardians but it still wasn't that much. Most of my money was going on stuff for me, I needed some more clothes as my parents didn't let me have most clothing as they saw it as 'inappropriate.' As we entered we headed straight to the men's section. I started moving around looking for clothes, this was the cheapest shop so I was looking for top and trousers. As I'm not fussy I quickly found some and walked towards the counter

After paying I was about to look for everyone else when I heard a commotion going on behind me. As I turned around I saw Charlie stood in his boxers and Guy was trying to pull his clothes back on.

"Charlie, Put your clothes back on! You're scaring the woman, she doesn't want to see you naked!" Guy yelled.

"Of course she does, I bet she'll go home and brag! And she'll say to her friends, yes that guy can burn in my loins anytime!"

I glanced round to look at the woman at the pay point, luckily she just look amused rather than scared. At that point Nick decided to enter,

"Charlie! Clothes on now or your going to get the opportunity to spend the rest of the day with Orion!"

Charlie grumpily put his clothes back on and picked up present heading to the pay point, as he passed me he winked and muttered,

"Enjoy the show?"

I rolled my eyes heading towards Guy, he laughed as he saw my facial expression. When Charlie had finished we headed to the art shop to pick up the decorations. I got the opportunity to wander off as I wasn't a high risk patient. I was looking round when something caught my eye. I was a blade, I tried to take my eyes off it but it was too difficult, my old one I had had to be thrown away in a hurry to make sure that Orion didn't get it.

I picked it up and glanced around Nick was busy dealing with the decorations and Charlie and Guy were trying to add decorations and Portman and Fulton we're talking quietly to each other. It looked intense and I knew that they wouldn't notice me.

I quickly walked up to the counter and handed the blade to the cashier, luckily he only looked about 16 so didn't pay a lot of attention , if he had I'm sure that he would have noticed that we were from a psych ward. After he sold it to me. I quickly shoved it in my pocket and walked over to Nick with my head hung low.

"Hey, green or red with the silver?" Guy asked.

I pulled out my sign and pen and wrote 'neither - blue' Nick shook he head pulling a range of colours and heading to the counter.

By 2 o'clock we we're back in the rec room and the decorations were being split up and handed out for everyone to put up. Me and Guy were given tinsel. Dwayne had gone into a catatonic state and looked like he was about to dance the 'walking like an Egyptian' by the bangles. I headed out of the rec room toward the class room, rummaging through the draws I found cellotape, I paused for a second running my hand over the blade in my pocket. I know I shouldn't have it but knowing that I had it there and I wouldn't have to go through my normal anxieties was a massive relief. I pulled it out of my pocket checking no one was around, I was nervous that someone would walk in but I also knew that Orion was keeping an eye on me and I couldn't afford to have him find me. I held the blade to my wrist pushing down lightly I thin trail of blood appeared. I pushed down harder pulling it along. Seeing the blood and feeling the pain I knew that it would have to do. Pulling my sleeves down I shoved the blade back in my pocket and picking up the cellotape I walked quickly back to the rec room.

As I entered I a strange site hit me, the Christmas tree looked smaller than I remembered, that and it only had two branches. As I looked closer I realised it was Dwayne covered in baubles and tinsel. I was a strange site. As I continued to look around I realised that under the mistletoe Portman had just leaned over and kissed Fulton. That made me do a double take. I think they must have noticed me staring as Portman looked at me and smiled pointing up.  
"You got to obey the rules!" I looked up and saw mistletoe. Nodding I went to turn around but something else caught my eye. I realised that Fulton was wearing stockings on his feet. Now I knew that I was in a loony bin. Shaking my head thoroughly confused I went to help Orion untangle Dwayne from his decorations.

The rest of the week went quickly and before I knew it Christmas eve was upon us. Everyone was in the rec room. I had to admit it was beautiful and had me in the Christmas mood and I was looking forward to Christmas tomorrow but I was also nervous as my parents would also b e here tomorrow.

"Right guys, I just thought that for the last night that we'd get together and we'd you know go over what we're grateful for this year. One good memory!" Orion announced

Thinking Carefully about mine I picked up my board and began to write. Charlie, Luis Connie and Ken's were spending time with their families. Most people's were something they did with their friends. Fulton and Portman's was meeting each other, which was kind of sweet in a weird way. Finally it was time for mine:

Coming here getting away from my parents and making the best friends I've ever had

I looked down I didn't want to see people's reaction I was kind of embarrassed but I knew that we'd soon have finished and I could go back to my room.

When I got up the next morning I found that no one else was awake but I knew it being Christmas it wouldn't be long until people started to rise from their pits. I got dressed, grabbed my sign and headed to the rec room where Sister Heather was sat reading a book.

"Hello Adam," she smiled at me, I nodded to show that I had heard her.

I sat down picking up my book I had left in here. I was currently reading a book called Cut it was a bit depressing really but the character reminded her of me only she chose not to talk and I didn't choose.

Before I knew it everyone was sat around we had finished breakfast and I was now anxiously waiting around for my family to arrive. So far most people's parents had arrived it was only Fulton and I left waiting. I was dreading meeting my parents, they didn't care about me and were embarrassed that I was in here. Butterflies jittered in my stomach and I tapped my feet on the floor and I waited.

"Hey Adam, you ok?" Sister Heather asked me, I nodded. "You look a bit nervous." I nodded again.

"Hey Adam, Your parents are here!" I heard Orion yell from the other side of the room. I looked around as my parents walked into the rec room. Also a pleasant surprise my brother was here.

"Hey Adam!" he smiled, he was the only one that didn't think that he was absolutely crazy, "How have you been?"

I put my thumbs up to signal I was ok.

"Good so you'll be leaving here soon then!" my father snapped I just turn to glare at him. It was Christmas day I couldn't be bothered to deal with his disapproving attitude I got so fed up of being the pathetic son

"Dad, I think that we should give Adam enough time to get better, he needs to get his head sorted!" My brother smiled.

"Aaron, I think that you should stop encouraging your brother to act like this!" this quickly turned into an argument and I was trying to ignore them, my mother turned to me.

"So what have you been doing?" she asked me.

I picked up my board and wrote 'ok lessons, did shopping, activities etc etc - nothing amazing!'

"Good Good," she muttered. Well that was uncomfortable and so were the next 2 hours of my family making small talk. My brother informed me of stuff I was missing but he wasn't in my world he was at uni so all he could do was tell me about what was going on there. My dad continued to insult me and let it well knows how much of an embarassment I was to him and that I shouldn't let anyone know that I was in here. Like I'd do that who would I tell I didn't have any friends outside of here. Although I did wonder where my dad was telling people I was.

The entire group was sat around in the rec room the decoration sparkling and the faint tune of 'deck the halls was playing causing giggling from Fulton and Portman. They had put up Charlie's underwear and were singing a rendition of 'deck the halls with Charlie's undies'

It was now time for the secret Santa, I had Fulton I had bought him a Meteora by Linkin Park which Portman had introduced him to. As we started exchanging gifts I saw that Fulton smiled when he opened his he had only mentioned it once and I'm not sure he even known that I had heard. I had a present from Guy, it was a toy wolf and third eye blind CD which he knew I didn't have. I smiled I didn't even know how he knew wolves were my favourite animals. Not talking meant that not many people realised what I liked and didn't like,

I know that this wasn't the exact Christmas that most people would want, but I loved it. Sure I had to spend a few hours with my parents but these people were now my family. They were so close and even though I didn't know some of them that well but I was finally in a place where people understood me and know what I'm going through and they don't judge me. And on this Christmas I am grateful to have these people around me.

**Dex **


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note:** Eep! It's been a while … but I am back and hope fully typing a bit quicker! 

Anyway thanks to the brilliant Duck for checking this again!

**Life in a Loony Bin**

**Fulton's POV**

A wave of dizziness overtook me as I sat curled in the corner of my room, gasping for breath I tried to calm myself down. I hated feeling this way. I hated anxiety. I constantly wished that I could get rid of this. I tried to count to 10 in my head anything to calm me down, but it wasn't working. I needed Portman but he wasn't here. I can't cope with this. I really don't think I can go on.

_**flashback**_

"1...2...3..4...5..." I began to count to 10 trying to calm myself. My school counsellor seemed to think this could work. I glanced up at the mirror staring at my reflection. I was a mess my eyes were red and blotchy, my skin was pale and my hair was greasy. I couldn't cope I was falling apart. I didn't know what to do anymore.

"Fulton! Get your goddamn ass out of the bathroom!" My father bellowed, banging on the door. It shook as his fists pounded on it.

I opened the door walking past him with my head down,

"How much time do you spend in the bathroom? What are you, a fairy?" he grunted.

I kept my head down and continued to my room, once I was locked inside I continued to try and regulate my breathing. It was no use as my breathing got worse my head began to spin and I felt like I was going to be sick. I sat down on my mattress on the floor huddling into the corner. I pulled up my covers and wrapped them around me. I had to feel secure. I had to feel safe. Tears rolled down my face as my panic attack continued.

"Stop…. Stop …. Please stop ….please….I can't stand this anymore…" I cried.

"Fulton!" my dad yelled, "you better get your ass to school today. If you miss one more day you're going to get expelled and then you're out!"

I made a noise signalling that I was getting ready to move. My breathing slowly went back to its original pace but, my heart continued to beat way too fast and my head was spinning. I picked up my school bag and quietly ducked out of my house. I knew I had to go to school as living on the streets had no appeal to me but I hadn't managed to stay at school for a whole day in over 6 months. That was if I even made it in. Often my anxiety was so bad that I thought I was going to collapse or be sick.

I made my way towards the school, my main concentration going towards my breathing and keeping any thoughts out of my head that may cause me to panic even more.

As I walked up the stairs of the school I could feel the panic getting worse, my breathing got worse and my whole world began spinning.

"Fulton," my name echoed through my head, I turned to see my school counsellor, Brian walking towards me.

"Do you want to step into my office?" he asked me. I nodded following him, my hair in front of my face. I used to have a lot of friends but my panic attacks had drawn a lot of attention. Who wants to be friends with the weirdo that kept freaking out about nothing.

As I entered I took the seat that I had seen so many times. Brian sighed as he took his seat on the opposite side of the desk.

"Fulton," he sighed rubbing his stubble with his hands and leaning back, "I think you need help, I mean you looked like you were already panicking and you were just in the door."

I looked down embarrassed I knew that I didn't want help but I also knew I needed it. I wasn't coping at all!

"What were you thinking?" I asked. I was feeling very hesitant, I had no clue what was about to happen.

Brian got up and went to the door.

"You can come in now," he called to someone.

A man with short sandy blonde hair entered, he was dressed smartly and at first he seemed severe man but as Brian pulled up another and he sat down he smiled and I relaxed slightly.

"Hello Fulton, my name is Doctor Orion and I am a psychologist at Eden Hall mental health unit," I nodded taking things in, "I would like to talk to you about how we can help you with your anxiety."

I glanced up at the Eden Hall entrance doors. I had talked to Dr Orion for god knows how many hours while he assessed my 'condition.' He decided that I was failing to function adequately and that my coming to Eden Hall would be best for me. After that he called my parents and agreed to meet them at our house. After talking to them for what seemed like an eternity, Dr Orion emerged and told me to go pack my bags. I didn't know things could happen this quickly.

Leaving my house was difficult, my mum was in tears I'm not sure why she hugged me goodbye. My dad leaned close into me and growled in my ear, "Don't bother coming back!"

_**End Flashback**_

I later found out that the reason this had happened so quickly was because this was a new facility and Brian had been in contact with Dr Orion about my condition for a long time. I crawled over to my bag pulling out what I desired. I just needed it all to stop. I felt a sudden calm come over me knowing that for the first time in a long time that I would never have to feel this anxiety again. I could be free from the pain, soon it'd all be over

**Portman's POV**

I walked back from an extended session with Bombay. Those sessions were draining, mainly because I wasn't allowed to leave until we made some progress.

I walked back to the room I shared with Fulton. Since meeting him here we had become close, closer than friends we were sole mates. We were meant to be together for ever. I was capable of calming his anxiety and he could keep me… well me.

"I'm going to bed now," I told Sister Heather. She nodded back to me, it was weird having to tell someone your every movement.

I walked towards our room and as I opened the door I saw a sight that would be forever burnt on my retina for the rest of my life.

As I stared at the horror in front of me my heart stopped; Fulton was dangling from the light, the chord to his dressing gown tied in a macabre embrace around his throat and from his wrists dripped his rich, red blood. I saw the razors on the ground beneath him lying in a pool of his blood, I saw his open bag by his bed, I saw everything in horrifying clarity.

His pale white body was just hanging there. The light from the doorway made him look like he wasn't on this earth. And as it slowly began to hit me that he wasn't and never would be again. I could feel something build inside me.

A strangled scream escaped my lips. Id lost him, I'd lost the man I loved.

I felt myself shatter into a thousand tortured pieces and I knew without him I'd never be whole again.

Thanks, please let me know what you think!

**Dex**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the extreme delay! I have been busy with school, exams and holidays! When I finally got round to writing it my computer decided to delete it!

Thankyou to Duck who beta'd again after starting again I was not too bothered about everything making sense so her job this time would have been even harder.

I would just like to explain that Russ is so moody because he is going through withdrawal. This is a chapter just to get to know the other character's. I don't have tourette's so I was just guessing with Ken, if I got anything wrong just tell me.

**Orion's POV**

One, two….three, I watched as the seconds slowly ticked by as I waited for this dull meeting to finally come to an end.

Before Christmas I had received a letter from the board of directors informing me that they wanted to close Eden hall as they believed it was draining money from other useful mental health resources. I had been desperately fighting to keep it open, and had not yet told the patients that the ward might be closing.

However after Fulton's suicide and Portman's transfer to a secure ward it was getting more difficult to convince them that Eden Hall was helping the current patients.

I watched Dr Buckley's mouth move as he droned on about 'budget cuts' and 'unhelpful treatments' I knew he was just trying to say in a round about way that no matter what we were going to be shut down. I had already put my proposals forward and they would be discussed by the board of directors, so my input into the meeting had actually ended.

"Well thank you all for attending this meeting Ted and I will review your points and get back to you," he flashed his teeth in a false smile and opened the door to let us out.

I walked from the main building over to Eden Hall trying to figure out how I could keep the facility open it was not going to be easy, if they had decided to shut us then there was no way that the patients could fund us.

I entered the ward and headed straight to my office. Removing my blazer and sitting in my chair I put my head in my hands hopelessly. What on earth was I going to do?

"So how did it go?" I looked and saw Gordon standing in my doorway.

I sighed heavily, my voice full of anguish, "It's not looking good."

**Julie's POV**

One, two, three ….four I counted my actions carefully in my head and repeated the counting until I was done. I had woken at 6 am to start my routine and it was now getting close to 8 am. I slowly counted my way back to my room checking that I made it in so many steps.

I entered my room and sat at our dressing table. I carefully counted the amount of time I brushed my hair and neatly tied it up. I realised that it there was a bump and with a sigh I pulled the tie out and started the whole ritual again. I checked that it was perfect knowing that was the only way my hair would not fall out. I carefully checked and got up to waked Connie as she sleeps through anything even an alarm. Just as I got close I realised that maybe I hadn't managed to check all of my hair so I walk back to the mirror and checked it. If it wasn't then my hair would fall out. It was fine.

I started to walk back over to Connie but then I realised that I might not have checked then entire of my hair so I walked back and checked because it might have fallen out or changed. I turned around and walked back to Connie. I shook her gently four times. I then paused to see if she would wake up and she didn't so I shook her another four times. She looked at me.

"Oh, hey Jules…" she rolled over pushing herself up. I walked back to my mirror and re-checked my hair, unable to control my paranoia.

An image of me with no hair popped into my head and I this lead onto thoughts that I might get another serious illness. I felt anxiety build up in my chest, my head started spinning, my heart was pounding and I thought I was going to be sick. I tried to think of other things but these thoughts kept pushing their way into my head and there was nothing I could do.

"Hey Jules… time for breakfast," I heard Connie's soft voice in back ground of the noise inside my head. I stood up and headed for breakfast. I pushed these thoughts as far back as possible. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I fought my darkest fear: I didn't want to die.

**Ken's POV**

I sat on the floor leaning back against the wall. I was so tired my motor tics had kept me up all night. I felt a build up in my chest and then up through my shoulders. I coughed then threw myself forwards. Great another tic.

I looked up and saw Jules and Connie heading towards us, Julie looked awful she had her arms wrapped around herself head down looking tearful.

I felt bad for her in a way I knew what OCD was like I had a mild case of it but not as bad as hers. I still can't believe I am stuck in a mental institution. I have tourettes. If I had been anyone else there was no way that I would have been committed but with my family appearances are everything. So I was stuck in here until I learnt to control all my tics.

"Come on, it's 9.30 we are already supposed to be at breakfast!" Nurse Heather groaned leading us through the car park and to the main building where we had breakfast. We managed to get across without any fuss. I sat on the end of the table and ordered Weetabix and toast.

I noticed a shy looking girl I didn't recognise who was about to walk past our table. I suddenly felt a build up in my throat. I scrunched my eyes closed and hoped I could suppress it.

"Bitch!" I yelled. I looked up apologetically and embarrassed at her, hoping she would understand. She rushed off and I felt so bad. I looked at the table. This is why I was locked up.

**Russ's POV**

I noticed Ken looking very embarrassed and upset. I don't see why he should, he just yelled what she probably was. I was sat between Charlie and orderly that had to accompany me at all times. It annoyed me having this person attached to me but I supposed I had to as I may have punched a doctor. I was now forced to go to anger management everyday. I had a splitting headache and I was trembling. The problems of withdrawal. My brother had come to visit me and brought some heroine thinking about it I know I shouldn't have had it but I was desperate so now I was going through it again.

I looked around at the table. It was very quiet. I couldn't believe that everyone was so down just because some guy on the ward off'ed himself and another had moved wards. So what? They were all nut jobs.

"Come on - let's go back to the ward!" Nurse Heather smiled in her usual overly cheerful way.

So we retraced our steps back to the ward and everyone had free time to get up to what every they wanted. I felt the orderly's hand on my shoulder and sagged in annoyance: it was time for anger management.

Maybe I should have taken the prison sentence.

**Adam's POV**

I watched Russ get pushed into one of the rooms for anger management. I could feel sorry for him but he did punch a doctor - not that I can deny I haven't been tempted. I leant back on the couch that I was sharing with Guy. Everyone was in the rec room and the mood a sombre. Nick walked in. they guy who had the privilege of taking us to the mall for Christmas shopping.

"Guys I know you are feeling down and it is awful what has happened but you can't let it affect your recovery. If you let it stop you then you will stop getting better you will be stuck here," he paused "How would you like to go see how Portman is doing?"

I looked up hopefully, knowing I wanted to see Portman, I knew that I had been getting close to Fulton and so in turn I ended up close to Portman.

Seeing our eager faces he nodded, "I'll go see what I can do."

As soon as he left people turned and started talking heatedly about what they thought a secure ward might be like.

"What do you think?" Guy asked me I shrugged.

I knew that no one on this ward had ever been in a secure ward. Even if you attempted suicide you ended up in the hospital then would end up back here and on suicide watch it was only if you kept attempting you would end up in secure.

Everyone turned expectantly as Nick entered. "Right I've rung through and it's ok for us to go over, I just have to get a couple more nurses and we're off," ever since Fulton's suicide they had tightened the rules and there had to be at least 1 nurse to every 2 patients.

As everyone was still ready from our breakfast outing we could leave immediately. The walk from Eden Hall to West Park - the secure ward - was nerve racking. They were about as far apart as you could get. We finally made it over there and entered the building. We had to go through numerous locked doors and wait in one while the other was opened. We got through to what looked like a security station and a doctor with neat, short brown hair in a white coat came to meet us and I had to resist the urge to cringe at the cliché.

"Ok first of all you can't go right into the cell as it is too risky to both your health and his. You should know he'll be different that you remember him." He turned without any further comment and we followed him through.

We passed several solid metal green doors, separated by badly dyed blue walls. The whole area was filthy. We finally reached a cell, where the doctor pulled down a shutter and stood back. I slowly walked toward the shutter, my heart in my throat as my stomach danced nervously, and what I saw shocked me. Dean was huddled in the corner, he was dressed in doctor's blue scrubs. He had his head buried in his palms and was muttering to himself. He lifted his head a looked at me, his eyes were red and puffy, I lifted my hand and waved. I noticed a flash of recognition in his dull eyes before it passed and he seemed to just be looking through me.

I turned to the doctor and pulled out my pen - 'what happened?' I scribbled on my board, my hand trembling.

"The Dean Portman you knew had multiple personality disorder, now the only way to describe it is that he has completely broken down and now has no personalities. He is a broken man."

If any other doctor had said it I might have not minded but this doctor sounded disgusted. What did he expect if a person had lost the love of their life?

"What do you expect? He saw the body of his dead lover!" Guy snapped angrily his loud voice echoing my thoughts. The pain we were all feeling was clear on his face.

Nick then quickly shuffled us back to Eden hall. On the way back Guy turned to Nick and asked

"Will he ever be ok?" Guy asked, unable to keep the hope and sorrow from his voice.

"I doubt it, for some people it's just too late."

Dex

Thanks for reading.


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